Whether one plays poker with strangers or with friends, one should always maintain a certain decorum. Not because you want to be a gentleman, screw that! But because you want to win more, and win more often.
So what is the correlation between poker table manners and your winnings? Let’s take a step back and understand that the premise of winning comes from the difference between your level of skill and that of other players. In order to maintain that profitable skill imbalance it is helpful for your opponents to be playful, relaxed and have a fun time even while they are losing.
So here are 10 things that will help you maintain the amusing and non-threatening nature of poker.
After a hand has been called everyone still in the game is supposed to show their cards. Some people create drama by waiting a moment before they reveal their winning hand. This is known as slow rolling.
Life is not a movie, there is no music in the back ground and there is no fat lady singing at the end. Maybe you are so happy with your victory that you just want the moment to last longer. Maybe you are purposely being cocky and trying to rub your win against your opponents.
Irrespective of the reason, it is very annoying to wait in such circumstances, especially if you know from the delay, that you had won.
Taking too Long
An extension of the first point this is something that can come up in many ways. Whether the player doesn’t realize it is their turn or if they are in a constant state of confusion. Some imbecilic players even do this on purpose by exhibiting a slow play style.
Either way, get your ass in the game and check, bet, raise or fold, or get out and suck a lollipop because that’s the only thing you deserve to do slowly.
Reciting Poker Stories
Oh you think you are the only one who has had a bad beat and the rest of the world is interested in how you were outdrawn on the river? Sorry to burst your bubble but neither are you the first, and neither does anyone care.
Even if you wrote a book of your experiences and sold a million copies, shut up and play because that’s what others on the table want to do.
Just because you have been playing straight for 20 hours doesn’t give you the excuse to behave (or smell) like a sloppy ogre at the table. If you are unwell and sneeze or cough into the cards and keep playing no one is going to enjoy sitting next to you.
Talking Too Much
OK, my best friend, partner and boss repeatedly tells me I am guilty of this one but are you as well?
Sure, poker is not meant to be played as if you were in the library but it isn’t a replacement of a salad and sangria lunch between gossiping girlfriends either.
Refrain from commenting on the hand and don’t endlessly dissect the previous hand either. Also, try to avoid matters that can be controversial or become arguments.
Speak less, listen more and when in doubt, stay quiet and you will come out better.
Gloating on a Win
I don’t know what’s worse, a sore loser or a self-indulgent winner. When you win, be a gentleman, and rake in the pot without making uninvited comments.
Normally, it’s to your advantage when your opponents are a little drunk as that affects their judgement and their control of their emotions. It allows for loose calls, unsupported aggression and thus, bigger pots for you to win.
However, playing with a drunk player is an entirely different matter. The game can become irritatingly slow and perhaps not worth the additional revenue to your stack. There are chances for arguments and fights.
So if you are drunk, don’t sit at a poker table, go to the bar and enjoy another drink, get laid and go home! It will be cheaper and more fun.
You’re not Pamela Anderson, not everyone is going to give a wide orgasmic smile if you flash them.
Showing your cards to other players is an unfair advantage and could lead you to be thrown out or even banned at various casinos. Always protect your hands and don’t reveal them. If not to prevent others from becoming upset, do it for yourself.
I don’t care if your cat died and your wife left you. This is a game, not a therapy session. If you need to talk about your problems, go to a licensed therapist or your girlfriend.
Also remember, winners do and losers make excuses. By continuing to dwell on the negatives in your life and talking about them, you are cementing them further into your psych and that won’t help you maintain the much needed equanimity in order to play at your best.
Being Professor Poker
Do you think you know everything? Or that you know better? Or that it is your job to teach others at the table. It’s not, and neither is it appreciated. Advice is wasted at the table since good players don’t need it while on the other hand it will drive the bad players away because they will feel insulted. Worse yet, it will smarten up the bad players and your winnings will decrease.
Not feeling so smart any more, are you?
Apart from these things just remember to be civil and courteous and you will end up learning more, having more fun, earning more and being a good influence on the community.
Apart from Poker Table Manners, here are some tricks that might help you How Not Go Broke in Poker..!!